Post-goal slump

You know when you achieve a major goal, you kinda feel a bit deflated in the following days?

After yesterday's high, today has been a bit blah. Not that I should feel that way. In my definition of fun, today has been a bonanza. I walked back and forth to the gym where I did my traction exercises in the pool. I talked on Skype. I had a friend come over. And I went to the supermarket. I mean OMG that is by far the biggest day I've had in nearly 3 weeks. I should be on top of the world.

I put my slump down to the fact that it was pretty upsetting to walk into the gym in the state I'm in. This is not me! I should not be limping in to the gym to float in the pool. I should be there to WORK OUT!!! Also, today's weather is odd. It's cold and breezy and kinda wintery. A wintery 28 degrees celcius. Yup, I have acclimatised too much.

Today's physical goal: Walk to gym and float in pool. I achieved this with style and panache ... and a distinct lack of pain.

Today's mental goal: Keep on keeping on. I know I just gotta stick at it. So I will...tomorrow. But for now, I'm gonna go sulk...just a little. Tomorrow will be better.

Goal achieved!

Today I achieved my first goal of walking over the road to the shops. Yes, you read that right :)

I had Matt for company and 'just in case', but in the end I was able to do it all on my own. It was certainly a slow old shuffle there and back, but I did it quite comfortably. There was no pain and I managed to control my crazy, numb leg so that it did what was required. We sat and had a coffee (and muffin!) before the shuffle back began.

Yes, I was slow. Yes, I was lopsided in my walk. Yes, everyone stared at me. Yes, everyone probably wondered why the heck I was walking like that. Did I care? Not even a little bit!

I have since been down to the pool to do my traction exercises and have been doing all the usual stretches all day. I feel good!

Today's physical goal: See above!
Today's mental goal: "You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose" Lisa Nichols.

Well, a few days ago I wrote my story (literally) and penned my goals. Today, the outcome was achieving one of them. What seemed like an insurmountable task even just a couple of days back, today became possible.

Looks like this Lisa Nichols knows what she's talking about.

Small victories...

Yesterday I had two (what I call) major successes in terms of my back health. Firstly, I was able to actually step properly with my left foot (heel toe action) as opposed to just plonking it down flat-footed in front of me. I am still so, so slow when I walk, but at least that's progress.

The second victory was that I was able to lift my heels about 1 inch off the ground when I tried to stand on my tip toes. This is major success as up until now, I look at my feet and legs willing them to move, but they refuse to budge. Yesterday, however, we had lift off! Granted, I am still a long, long way from actually standing on my toes but this, my friends, is extreme progress. When the physio asked me to perform this move earlier in the week, only to discover I was 100% unable to, she was extremely concerned. She then proceeded to tell me that the neurosurgeon will freak out when he sees I can't do that as it means that no neural signals are getting through. Well, my nerves are sure proving them wrong - neural signals are now getting through!

Today's physical goal: Take it easy after yesterday's osteopathic treatment. Maybe just a little hanging in the pool. Literally. I hang off the edge of my lilo, letting my legs dangle. This is a form of traction, aimed at creating space between my vertebrae.

Today's mental goal: "If you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right" Henry Ford. Well, I think I CAN return to full health quickly and that it what I am choosing to focus on.

Keeping my eyes on the prize...

Today's physical goal: A whopping 30 laps of the shallow end + floating for traction. That might even mean putting my head in the freezing water. I'm also super busy doing my hip slides, knee lifts, side twists and reaches. All this dedication will surely have to start to free up my pesky nerve that is trapped / damaged from my S1 disc.

Today's mental goal: Keep my eyes on the prize. At the moment, running a half marathon seems like a long way off. I mean let's face it, I can barely walk 100 metres. But I am determined that I will meet all of the goals I set yesterday, with the first one coming up in the next 3 days - walking over to the shops across the road. This is a distance of probably 500 metres. Funny how I used to zip back and forth across there countless times a day, often on my way to do a workout at the gym. Now, the workout will be just walking over there.

But I'm keeping my eyes on the prize. I am visualising myself achieving all of my goals. I am allowing myself to feel the sense of elation and achievement when I conquer them. Yesterday I even considered wearing my 1/2 marathon medal around the house, pretending that I got it in this year's 2012 December 1/2 marathon. I didn't. But hey, I'm the only one here, so you never know!

Where there is hope...

Life is going well. Progress is slow and steady. I'm feeling really positive about my health and I am confident that I will be fit and healthy very, very soon.

I had a great time doing my first hydrotherapy session yesterday. The water was a tad chilly, but the sun was shining, the trees were swaying and the water was sparkling. It felt good to move. It felt even better to be outside.

I've been blessed with many amazing visitors who bring with them their hugs, smiles and friendship. Sometimes they even bring wine. Or chocolate cake. Or even donuts. See - told you life is good!

Today's physical goal: Do 25 laps walking around the shallow end of the pool (yesterday was 20).

Today's mental goal: I am choosing hope over anything else. And with that in mind I am setting myself some goals. I miss having running goals as a focus in my life. These goals brought me so much happiness and sense of achievement. So I've decided that with my sense of hope, I know that anything is possible. Hence some new goals are in order:

1. I will walk over to Uptown Mirdif by January 14th, 2012 - this weekend!!!

2. I will go for a real / exercise walk by January 31st, 2012.

3. I will run by February 29th, 2012

4. I will run and walk in beautiful Adelaide and McLaren Vale April 7-19th, 2012

5. I will run the ABRAs Mina Seyahi 10k race in October 2012.

6. I will run the Mirdif Milers 10 mile race in November 2012. (16 hilly kilometres).

7. I WILL RUN THE DUBAI CREEK HALF MARATHON IN DECEMBER 2012.

8. I will run a marathon before I turn 40 on December 6th, 2015 :)

I also will swim laps by February 14th, 2012 and return to yoga in February, 2012.

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. ~Christopher Reeve

How times change...

Last time I wrote, I was on the cusp of a healthy, happy, fun and active Christmas vacation. Seems that the higher powers have a different plan for me, as that was not certainly not how things panned out. What did pan out was 3 discs in my back that are 'stuffed' (code for herniated and prolapsed). I prefer to go with 'stuffed' - not only is it clearly more technical, it's also less daunting.

So, it has now been two weeks of a fair amount of pain (especially in the initial week); quite a bit of numbness and a pretty good dose of having trouble walking. Hmmm...fun, right?


Yesterday when I was at the physio, she gently told me that I'll most probably be looking at many weeks off work and she has referred me to a neurosurgeon. Now, I'm a pretty positive person, but I gotta say that when I heard this news, I freaked out. What? Me who loves running, swimming, gyming and yoga-ing? Me who just ran a half-marathon? Me who is signed up to do 4 more races in the coming months? Me who loves getting out and about exploring? Me who loves hanging at cafes and restaurants? Me who loves my job? Me who loves socialising? Me who loves getting out of the house? Active me? 'NO', I thought, this cannot be true! The words 'Michelle' and 'neurosurgeon' do not go together.

And you know what, it will not be me. I refuse to be defined by my circumstances, so I am choosing the path of health and positivity.


I feel so fortunate to have an amazing physiotherapist and osteopath who are caring for me. They believe in the body's ability to find strength and wisdom to heal itself. Fortuitously, so do I. They also believe in miracles. Again, so do I. So far, the road to recovery has been a positive one and I intend for it to continue that way. My body has the strength and wisdom to heal itself. My pesky nerves will have no choice but to cooperate. It feels so good knowing that I have the right people around me to help care for me and 'fix' me. It also feels good knowing that I believe all will be well.

In order to sure my healing process is on track, I am going to set a physical and mental goal for each day.

Today's physical goal: Continue my physio exercises and head down to the pool for my first session of hydrotherapy.

Today's emotional goal: "Whatever the mind can conceive, it can achieve" (W. Clement Stone). I conceive that I am healed and strong. I conceive that radiant health is mine. I conceive that I will run more half marathons and my first marathon. I conceive that I am full of vitality. I conceive that my body is stronger than ever. I conceive that my life is perfect and that I am able to live it just as I want to.

I feel strongly that a better path is opening up for me. This picture here sums it up:


So yes, times change. But always for the better.

Back on track

It's been an awesome time since I last wrote. Back in July I set myself a goal of running a half marathon before the end of the year. Check. Done it!

Last week I astounded myself by loving every minute of the 21.1k Dubai Creek Striders Half Marathon. It was a stunning course that traversed around, over and under Dubai Creek. The highlights for me were the gorgeous, blue skies; the view of the rising sun reflecting off the buildings as I ran across Garhoud Bridge; and the awesome feeling of running alongside all the dhows on the creek. It was truly one of the best days (and achievements) of my life - made all the more sweet by sharing it with lovely friends.

Since then, I've been taking it a little easy. Easy as in the furthest I've walked is across the street to get a foot massage and a pedicure. Easy as in eating and drinking what I want. Easy as in doing pretty much nothing! My body (and mind) truly needed the rest, before embarking on my training program for my next half marathon...in 9 weeks!!!

So, today is the day that I'm getting back on track. I am fortunate that it's now school hols here so health is going to be my priority.

Goals:

1. Green smoothies :)
2. Eat to Live principles to rule my life!
3. Follow my 1/2 marathon training plan
4. Do yoga 1-2 times per week.
5. Do strength 1-2 times per week.
6. Sit in the sunshine.
7. Read
8. Live, love and enjoy!

I'm really looking forward to this next chapter :)