Struggling

Turns out that my back had other ideas when I thought that I had finally got on top of it.  It has been a pesky bugger all week, requiring 2 more visits to the osteopath and physio.  Normally, I would just get on with life and accept this on-going maintenance.  Normally, I would breeze through and do whatever has to be done.  Normally, I would look at the positives and know that I am getting stronger day by day.  Normally, I would know that it is through hardship that we grow.  Normally, I would smile and tell people that  I am doing well.  Normally, I would try to make myself believe that we are what we think.  Normally, I would accept that everything happens for a reason.

But you know what, this week I am DONE with all the things I would normally do.

After what has been nearly a year, I am done with picking myself up over and over.  I am done with pulling myself together and being positive.  I am done with thinking that my back is allowing me to grow stronger as a person.  I am done with trying everything under the sun in the hopes it will help.  I am done with my back consuming my thinking all day, every day.  I am done with being in pain.  I am done with not being able to do what I want to do.  I am done with getting home and being in so much pain I have no choice but to be relegated to bed.  I am done with not being able to go for walks or bike rides.  I am done with not being able to have baths.  I am done with having to put on a brave face.

And so, I have cried.  And cried.  And cried.

Has all this crying helped?  No.  I still feel crappy.  But I do feel relief that for once, I am not having to pretend that I am coping with all of this. 

It's been a long year.  I am tired.  And sad. 

This week

I think I have finally sorted out my on-going back issue.  I decided that it was time for a visit to my favourite osteopath to get her opinion on the situation.  She told me that my right pelvis was rotating, hence causing the pain.  She worked on me for 30 minutes and got everything back in place.   She said that this has nothing to do with my surgery or the 'old' injury.  It is just something that can happen from time to time. Sweet, glory, I am now pain free. Too exciting!!!!

I had a pretty quiet week on the exercise front due to my back, but am now hoping that I will be able to get back into things a bit more.  This week, I will just stick with swimming again, but might try a walk or bike ride on the weekend.

Food wise, things have been going great.  Here are some of my faves from this week:

Black Bean Burgers from Forks Over Knives - so simple and so tasty!!

1can black beans, drained and rinsed

2 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp yellow mustard
1/2 small onion, chopped
1 crushed garlic clove.
1/3 cup instant oats

Preheat oven to 400F. Grease a cookie sheet or line with parchment paper and
set aside. In a mixing bowl, mash black beans with a fork until mostly pureed
but still some half beans and bean parts are left. Stir in condiments and spices
until well combined. Then mix in oats. Divide into 4 equal portions and shape
into thin patties with your hands. Bake for 7 minutes, care- fully flip over and
bake for another 7 minutes, or until crusty on the outside.

I wrapped mine in a large cos lettuce leaf and served with beetroot, sauteed onions and mushrooms and a mango salsa.  SO good!!

Another goody from this week is this Chickpea, Tomato and Spinach curry from Good Food Magazine:

A serious taste sensation.  Heavenly, vegan goodness :)

So, here's to another week of healthy living.  As they say: "Eat better, feel better"!

What I Ate Monday

In the interests of keeping myself accountable, here's a little summary of today's meals.  How do I feel?  Great that I kept on track!  But also a little sad that I haven't had a vino!  Hey, I'm just being honest  ;)

Breakfast:

Usually I have a green smoothie, but after going out for coffee after my early morning swim, I was ravenous by the time I got home.  A bowl of this blue museli with banana and soy milk it was.  Oh baby!

Lunch:

This soup from Forks Over Knives is one of my faves.  Simple, wholesome and SO yummy!  I also threw in 3 celery sticks and 2-3 handfuls of baby spinach.  And the best news is, there's plenty left for this week's lunches.

Split Pea Soup from “Forks over Knives”

Serves 4

Ingredients

1 onion chopped

1 ½ cups split peas

2 large carrots, shredded

10 cups water

2 table spoons vegetable powder

Salt and black pepper optional

Fresh parsley, optional

Directions

Sauté the onion in a large pot with a little water until yellow.

Add the split peas, carrots and water and bring to a boil.

Add the vegetable powder and reduce heat.

Simmer for about 1 hour. 

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve warm, garnished with a little chopped parsley.

Snack:

A smoothie with 500 mls water, baby spinach, a banana and a handful of blueberries - all combined with my new favourite 'treat' ingredient -unsweetened cocoa powder.  YUM!

 Image:  http://lostgardenblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/chocolate-banana-green-smoothie/

Dinner:

This Burrito Bowl.  It is, quite simply, happiness in a bowl!  I made it without rice or corn and it was still amazing!

Image:  http://www.straightupfood.com/blog/2012/07/22/burrito-bowl-with-guacamole-and-salsa/

All washed down with this baby:

Image: http://www.photosshow.com/carbonated-water-soda-water-lemon-2/

It was a good food day :)

Currently

Currently I am doing the cha-cha.  Aka two steps forward and one step back.  After being VERY good friends for the previous 7 weeks, my back decided it would turn into a pesky annoyance and remind me of all we have been through together.  That is code for SORE.

Nevertheless, after a day off school, lots of rest and being 'sensible' we seem to be back on track.   I wanna continue getting better so I can go "fast, long and strong". (By the by, this is the motto a fellow teacher uses to discuss reading with his 3rd grade class.  Seems to have quite a but of inneundo, no?  Or maybe that's just me?). 

So, I'm thinking that it's "onward and upward from here on in".  According to my husband, I have reached the maximum amount of acceptable times I can use that phrase.  Apparently, I overuse it.  Who knew, hey?

SO - HERE WE GO!!

6 weeks or bust :)

Alcohol - nada

Chocolate - zip

Chippies - zilch

Dairy - zero

But it's not all nadazipzilchzero.

Instead it will be:

Fruit n veg - Maximum amounts of

Whole, unprocessed food - unlimited

Grains and pulses - come at me baby!

Wholegrain foods - 1 serve per day

6 weeks till I'm 37!  Bring it on :)

Glorious...

A glorious 1km swim to start the day

A glorious green smoothie filled with baby spinach, banana, blueberries and pineapple

Glorious October sunshine on our balcony

Glorious flowers in bloom on my balcony plants

Glorious tunes blasting

A glorious load of clean washing

And, a glorious 20 minute walk yesterday ... my first one in about 8 weeks. 

The glorious feeling of strength continuing to return to my body.

Life is good :)

Onwards ...

Have I mentioned how THRILLED I am that I have just ticked over 4 weeks with little/no back pain? Cos I am!  I had a rocky patch from May-September, but it seems my body may have now turned a corner and we are on the path titled 'Onwards and Upwards'.  It feels so liberating to make it through the day and be able to partake in normal activities.  I just love being able to be active and being able to live the life I want! 

The past week was a good one in terms of my health.  Words to describe it:  Green.  Fresh.  Wholesome.  Healthy.  Vegan.  Nutritious.  And oh, yes, RAFFLES HOTEL!  The last part included a rather significant deviation from 'the plan' ... Chocolate.  Beer.  Cake.  Mmmmmm, it was good. 

We are now back to regularly scheduled programming.  Today's food intake included:

Breakfast:  Green Smoothie
Snack:  Celery, carrot and cucumber sticks
Lunch:  'Forks Over Knives' Black Bean Soup
Snack:  Fruit salad
Dinner:  Baked portabello mushroom, roast potatoes and carrot, steamed green beans

That's a pretty standard day, really.  Just clean, healthy, plant-based eating.

It's a good way to live! 

xo

Focus!

After eating and drinking my way around America for 6 weeks, it was time to get serious.  Rather than chips and beer for lunch, it was back to the slog of salad, salad and more salad.

And oh boy, did my body love it!  I literally inhaled my first green smoothie after the trip; every pore of my body soaking up the goodness.  The gusto that was previously afforded to the inhaling of any junk food under the sun was now transferred to all things healthy.

That was now 9 weeks ago and I've done a pretty good job of keeping on track.  In fact, I have done a damn good job of keeping on track (if I may say so myself).  I discovered lots of new healthy recipes for soups, salads and stews that are easy to prepare.  The amount of joy I have gained out of discovering a new recipe has been out of control!

I also implemented a new cooking routine:  make a big meal on Saturday night that would also do for Sunday's dinner; make a big soup or stew on the weekend to take for lunches; and horror of horrors, I declared I would not be cooking during the week for we were going to have salad every night :)   I LOVE it.  In fact, it may just be the best idea I've EVER had.  No more pit in the stomach about the lack of energy at the end of a school day and the prospect of having to cook.  Afterall, it only takes a couple of minutes to throw a salad together  (Added bonus:  Less dishes!).  Are we sick of salads yet?  Not in the least!  For there are so many variations and combos, plus by the time we eat out / get take out once or twice a week, it really only ends up being 3 or so mights that we have salad. 

Anyway, after this long healthy stint, I am now at the point where I am making the foolish error of thinking I am 'free'.  You know, the ole ' but I've been doing so well, I've earned this chocolate.chips.2 litres of wine. whatever.

So it's now time to refocus and set some new goals for October.  Can you believe I will be in QLD in 11 weeks?  I KNOW!

Disclaimer: I haven't pre-determined these goals prior to now, so anything could happen below!  And then I'll be stuck with these spur-of-the-moment goals cos they'll be on my blog for the world to see!  Gasp.

1.  Focus on being plant-strong.  I really have gone off dairy; obviously haven't eaten meat for oh, about 6 years  and also haven't had much of an appetite for fish.  So, my goal is to continue eating in this vain, bar the odd latte from Jones the Grocer cos those are just too good to resist.

2.  Limit alcohol to the weekend.  After we returned from the States, I went for a month with no alcohol.  And I didn't miss it one bit.  Seriously.  So, I am enjoying 'just' drinking on the weekend now - I feel a whole lot better for it, that's for sure.

3.  Ignore all things chocolate.  Pretend they don't exist.  Ditto for anything that falls into the 'chips' category.

4.  Keep building up my strength at the gym.  I am LOVING my before school swims and am back to pre-surgery distance.  My new goals are to build up my cycling and walking.  SO good being able to be active again!

5.  Get back to blogging.  I am an avid reader of blogs, but have not been much of a writer of late.  I do enjoy it as it's a great outlet, so will try and get back into to the swing a little.

6.  Stop saying 'no' to social invitations.  I am such a wuss and hate going out at night as I am always so tired.  So I would probably run out of fingers if I were to count the number of times I have declined invitations for dinners / parties etc in the last month.  You know, I'm going to work with the phrase 'you got to be in it to win it'! 

7.  Be realistic about number 6.  I know that I don't like late nights  - they throw me off for days as I struggle to recover.  So that being said, I might need to be a bit selective about what I say yes to!

8.  Keep on keeping on :)

xo

Firsts

So many "firsts" since the you-know-what have been happening in my life in the last couple of weeks:

- First time swimming proper laps complete with arm and leg action!
- First time driving the car!
- First time riding 30 mins on the bike!
- First time being able to stand on my tip toes!
- First time doing a workout before school!
- First time on the reformer Pilates machine!
- First time being told (by many people) how much better I am walking!
- First time wearing clothing that does not involve an elasticised waistband!
- First time of working a full day!

And yes, every.single.one of those warrants an exclamation point!

How times have changed.

I've just returned from my first pool session since the you-know-what. I was 'allowed' (as per my physio's strict instructions) to 'swim' a whopping total of 8 laps.

I use the term 'swim' loosely as I wasn't allowed to kick. Swimming without kicking, you ask?? I had to use a pull-buoy (I just learned that's what you call the bit of foam you put between your legs, so you don't use them) and just use my arms. Have you ever tried to do backstroke with one of those babies jammed between your legs? Not easy. After too many more workouts like this, I expect I shall have biceps akin to Arnie Schwarnegger. (See back surgery DOES have its pros).

And I was also 'allowed' to walk 12 laps. Forwards. Backwards. And just to jazz things up a little, sidewards.

The result - I am absolutely buggered. As a result of being buggered I am also alarmed / depressed at my lack of fitness. Pre you-know-what I swam 40-60 laps like it weren't no thang. Now, I am a slobbering mess after said 'workout' above.

Still, when I report to my physio tomorrow, I am hoping she will let me up the ante. Maybe next week, I'll be 'allowed' to 'swim' 10 whole laps.

We can hope :)

4 weeks on...

This time 4 weeks ago I was holed up in a hospital room, feeling a bit worse for wear! In that time, I have achieved a great deal.

I progressed from walking a few steps, to walking 1.6ks at the park, to walking 5ks. It astounds me and makes me so proud that 2 weeks after the surgery, I was able to walk 5ks! I look forward to continuing to build up my walking strength, all the while, loving the sunshine and gorgeous weather.

I have also made other gains in terms of exercise. I have loved the exercises my physio has given me. I have been waking up at 4.30 / 5am each morning and doing them; then I do them once again later in the day. Each session takes me about 30-40 mins. I'm working on my core and building the 6 pack that will take me into the future! Also today, I cycled for the first time on the bike in the gym!! I rode for 10 mins and did 2.5ks - I felt so good. For the first time in nearly 9 weeks, it didn't matter that my leg / foot are numb. I could push the pedals around and the function in my legs felt close to 100%! Bike riding is my new friend.

I have returned to work. This week, I went back part-time. I have been working about 6 hours each day and leaving at lunch time. It has been an amazing week, filled with a lot of joy. I have loved being back at work with my colleagues and students. There is a sense of empowerment that comes with being strong enough to work again. I have had to take it easy and I'm pooped when I get home, but nothing a little nap can't take care of. I have loved every minute of this week.

I have continued to focus on the power of the mind to heal the body. By focusing on the positives and embracing the changes I have gone through, I feel very grateful for what I have learned about myself and life during this time. When faced with challenges, we are forced to grow.

This weekend, I look forward to setting some goals for the coming months...

A learning process

Today I was making myself focus on the positives of this whole process. I mean, it's been 6 weeks, which is rather a lengthy stint. I was feeling a little down and as though the end was never in sight.

I broadly concluded that without a doubt, I have learned lessons and things about myself during this time in a way that I probably wouldn't have otherwise learned.

So, in a roundabout kind of way, I was starting to feel grateful for this process.

I mused that:
- I have learned that I can endure extreme pain and come out the other side in tact.
- I have learned to shoulder bad news ranging from: No sitting for 3 weeks to no work for weeks if not months to no more running to no feeling in my legs / feet to an urgent need for surgery lest I become paralysed...
- I have learned to make the best of this time by reading, blogging, connecting with friends and family and generally setting myself on a positive path.
- I have learned that I have an inner strength that I never knew was there.
- I have learned that chocolate and wine really do make things better.
- I have learned more about the power of the mind-body connection. As such, I have allowed my body to heal itself, while focussing on my mind. In other words, "We are what we think", in the same way that "We are what we eat".
- I have learned that I really am a goal-oriented person (although I think I already knew this one!)
- I have learned to be so grateful for a condition that has a 100% cure.
- I have learned that the support of family and friends is crucial during hard times.
- I have learned to celebrate the smallest of victories.
- I have learned that my body and health are precious. We must do all we can to look after ourselves.
- I have learned to be patient.
- I have learned a lot about backs and discs!
- I have learned to trust medical professionals.
- I have learned to not Google my condition :)
- I have learned to be grateful for all the time I have had on my hands.
- I've even learned a few new yummy recipes :)

As my mind was wandering, I started to get a funny feeling in my left foot.

Upon doing my usual poke and prod test, it was with elation that I discovered that some of the feeling had returned to my toes and the sole of my foot!

Do you know what it feels like to FINALLY get some signs of progress after 6 weeks?

Let me tell you, it feels good.

When Matt returned home from work, I shared the good news with him and sobbed tears of relief and joy.

My body was literally convulsing from the pure relief that finally there was some improvement.

All I could think was 'FINALLY!!!!!'.

A lot has been learned so far and this is only the beginning of the next exciting stage of my life, which will be more amazing than I can ever imagine!

Stepping out into the future

The neurosurgeon surprised me (in a good way!) by telling me that in the week following my surgery I should be heading out walking. He said to increase by ten minutes each day. So that's what I did. And more!

My lovely mum and I started out small on Day 1 and just walked across the road to the supermarket and back.

On Day 2 we tackled a mall - we took it easy with coffee and lunch stops in between and I felt so liberated to be out in society!

On Day 3 we went to an even bigger mall. After much strategy, we negotiated our way around. And bought a few fun items in the process!

On Day 4 we tackled the park. We walked 1.6 ks in 36 minutes and I was as proud as punch.

On Day 5 we walked 2.0ks and ALSO went to the mall! Wowzers - what a blockbuster day!

On Day 6 and 7 we walked 2.4ks. And today I walked 2.8ks in 50 minutes.

The feeling of getting out and about is good on so many levels. Firstly, it gives me a goal for the day and a clear focus on what I want to achieve. Since I kind of thrive on achieving goals, this is clearly a winning formula for me.

Secondly, the freedom of walking is so incredibly uplifting. One of life's simplest activities is now the highlight of my day! The sunshine, the breeze, the fellow walkers, the greenery. I love it!

Thirdly, I love that with each and every step, I am making my body stronger. While I am walking, I envisage just how far I'll be able to walk by the end of the week / end of the month / in April in Australia / in June in America. It's a fun visualisation process!

With each step, I am creating my future. And it's one I am very excited about!

You can do anything you put your heart, mind and soul into.

Far more than you can imagine.

Be fearless.

Do it.

- LL COOL J

Choosing hope

The news of being told on Sunday that I must go in for an urgent micro-discectomy operation this Thursday has hit me hard.

In the place of hope, positivity and determination, a whole new set of words has filled my mind.

These words circle around and around all day in my mind. The wake me up at night. They remind me why my heart has been heavy and sad for over 4 weeks now. The remind me of why my eyes fill with tears at the drop of a hat and my voice no longer sounds like my own.

The words that have filled my mind since Sunday have been a never-ending stream of :
Surgery; urgent; incisions; discs; recovery; anaesthesia; operation; nerves; lack of feeling; numbness; pain; insurance; hospital; medication; sadness, fear, sorrow, disappointment; exhaustion; intrepidation; apprehension; fatigue.

When I type those words, they roll off my fingers and tongue in an instant. The are just words. But oh boy, those words have changed my paradigm of thinking in a big way. I have cried the saddest of tears as I have struggled to process the changes in my life.

But as of today, I am choosing to firmly compartmentalise the negative thoughts and emotions. I am putting them in a metaphoric box and letting them sail off into the sunset. They are not words or feelings that I have ever associated with myself, and I am not about to let them start to be the forces that shape who I am. They have done that for 3 days and that's already 3 days too many.

As of today, I am making a firm decision, with bold conviction, to choose hope.

I am going to look deep within myself to refocus on hope.
With hope, I believe that I can be carried forward into a life that is even better than my life has previously been.
It is about what fuels the essence of my being.
It is making a choice about what will define me.
It is knowing that hope will give me not only the ability to get through this, but to triumph.
Hope is my choice over any other possibility.

And with hope comes a whole new set of words that will once again fill my mind and shape my path:
Happiness; vision; plans; new goals; strong health; strong mind; conviction; courage; faith; love; belief; dreams; determination; peace; excitement; energy; joy and positivity.

These are the words that represent who I am and how I plan to live my life as I head into surgery, recover from the operation and forge ahead into my life.

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. ~Christopher Reeve

Neurosurgeon Eve...

Today is "Neurosurgeon Eve". Not quite as exciting as Christmas Eve, but there is nonetheless a sense of anticipation and nervous excitement involved.

Tomorrow has been a long time coming. When I made the appointment 2 1/2 weeks ago for the first available slot, January 22nd seemed like eons away. I felt sure and confident that I would be healed by then and that I would not even need to attend the appointment. I felt like I had the strength, power and know-how to heal my body in what seemed like the vast amount of time I had.

As the time has drawn closer, I have still held steadfast in the belief that my numbness and pain would be gone by January 22nd. I have certainly made progress. Hello! I can now shower myself and I can even get my pants on by myself as long as I sit down to do it. Major accomplishments in my book. But can I feel my left leg? Not so much. Am I pain-free? Um, next question.

That leaves me with tomorrow's appointment. There are many words to sum up how I am currently feeling: Nervous, curious, morose, interested, excited, teary, faithful, scared, optimistic and apprehensive. That's a cocktail of contradictory emotions right there.

But the overiding feeling is one of fear. The thought of potentially having spinal surgery terrifies me. But that is all I am going to say about that because what will be, will be. The situation is what it is. These things happen for a reason. And let's face it, if I need surgery then I am all for it. I wanna get back to living my full, active life.

I remain glued to the belief that my life is unfolding exactly as it should.

Today's mental goal: "No matter where you are, no matter how difficult things might appear to be, you are always being moved towards magnificence. Always."

Today's physical goals: Today was a very active day (after some days of pretty bad pain). I achieved a trip to the supermarket; a walk to the gym and back; 5 mins pool walking and 30 mins traction; lunch out with a friend. I'm feeling quite good, but my right hip / butt cheek are not my friends at the moment. And neither is my left leg for that matter.

Say a little prayer for me that the neurosurgeon's diagnosis is the best path for me and that it is the one that will lead to me being able to live a full and active life again soon.

Today...

Today... I reveled in the fact that I went out for dinner last night for the first time in 4 weeks.

Today... I reminisced about my fun outing with friends for the first time in 4 weeks.

Today... I hardly recognised myself when I wore something other than a sweat suit for the first time in 4 weeks.

Today... I went beyond the limits of my suburb for the first time in 4 weeks.

Today... I was like a kid in a candy store when I went shopping for the first time in 4 weeks.

Today... we planned for a positive, healthy future and we made holiday bookings for July.

And because of all the above, today... I felt like a normal person for the first time in 4 weeks.

Today's physical goal: Go out for coffee, walk around the mall (the world's BIGGEST mall at that); feel good afterwards. Done. (Even if the walk around the mall was a 15 minute hobble).

Today's mental goal: "Look for the gifts in everything; especially when you appear to be facing a negative situation. Adjusting to a new path and a new direction requires new qualities and strengths, and these qualities are always exactly what we require to accomplish the great things ahead in our lives".

Meditation

Before I get out of bed each morning, I do a 6 minute healing meditation. It is a positive start to my day; it reminds me of what I should be focussing on and it sets an intention for a health-filled day.

The part I especially like is when the guy says a number of phrases that I repeat back to myself. They include things such as "You are getting stronger every day"; "Your energy and vitality are increasing daily" and my personal favourite "Every cell in your body is vibrating with health and energy".

It may be odd to think of me laying in bed saying these things out loud to myself, but at this point in time, I am willing to pull out all the stops to heal my back injury!

Today's mental goal: To carry some of the phrases with me throughout the day. Today I have been repeating "Every cell in your body is vibrating with health and energy" as I've done all my stretches and exercises. If nothing else, it totally takes the focus of the pain and redirects it to healing!

Today's physical goal: Sore, sore sore today :( Hence, I didn't head over to the pool at the gym, but rather did my exercises in our pool downstairs. I kinda need to save my energy because tonight I am going out for dinner with a group of friends. It's just going to be a quick, easy dinner - I think we're going to a yummy Italian restaurant. Given that I can only sit in 20 minute blocks, I plan on getting up and walking for 5 minutes every 20 minutes to keep things limber. This is my first meal out since Christmas Day! Wish me luck!

The Law of Attraction

Today's physical goal: Walk to pool and back; do 10 mins pool walking and 30 mins traction floating. Done!

I'm feeling a little sore today after yesterday's pretty intense physio session. I was curled up on the couch, so tempted to pass on my visit to the pool. After toying with this idea for a while, I pulled myself together, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and JUST DID IT. No surprises that I felt fine when walking and in the pool, and I now feel so much better for having done it. I loved my time over at the pool so today's lesson serves as a good reminder that I ALWAYS feel better after exercise.

Today's mental goal: Practice the Law of Attraction. Happiness attracts more happiness. Kindness attracts more kindness. Good health attracts more good health. Strength attracts more strength. Positivity attracts more positivity. Gratitude attracts more gratitude. And so on and so forth...

So, today's goal is to bring into my life more of what I desire!

36 things I am grateful for

Today's physical goal: Walk to the physio and back...if I'm feeling bold I might even duck into the supermarket and buy some light supplies. I am also REALLY hoping that the physio tells me that I am allowed to sit!!! It's been 3 weeks of no sitting. That means no car rides anywhere; no dinners out; no cafe life; no sitting at the dinner table; no sitting upright when friends come over etc etc. So yeah, I've discovered that sitting is a really important part of my life and I am looking forward to welcoming it back into my days!

Today's mental goal: Focus on the things I am grateful for. When we feel gratitude, we draw even more good things into our lives. So here are 36 things in honour of my age... (in no particular order).

I am grateful for:

1. My husband who has supported me through this healing process with love, kindness, care and humour.
2. My mum who I have Skyped with every day since this happened - highlight of my day!
3. My right leg which has decided that being numb is not cool and now has about 90% of its feeling back. Woo - go right leg!
4. My friends in Dubai who have visited me non-stop, bringing smiles, conversation, hugs, wine, chocolate cake, pasta, salad, candles, magazines, donuts, flowers, bread, books, chocolate, walnuts, movies, coffee, apricots - the list goes on and on!
5. My FB friends who have filled me with a warm fuzzy feeling each time I read their messages of support.
6. The sunshine. Even when all else fails, laying in the sun makes me feel SO SO good.
7. Our life in Dubai - we love it here and it gets better each day. We are so happy!
8. The swimming pool downstairs - even though it is chilly, it is a glorious, peaceful place where I love to float and do my physio exercises.
9. The garden around the pool. I love the palm trees, the frangipanis, the hedge and the way the breeze makes everything flutter.
10. Being able to walk. He he - probably the most important one!
11. My osteopath - she fills me with hope each time I see her. Last time she told me that when I am 100% healed she will get me to write a testimonial!
12. My physio who is positive, knowledgeable and empathetic. She believes in miracles :)
13. Good medical care in Dubai - I can get in for appointments quickly...for example, I was able to get in for an MRI 2 days after I phoned them. Couldn't get this sort of speedy care in Australia...or many other parts of the worlds for that matter.
14. My upcoming neurosurgeon appointment. It will be good to get another opinion. Of course, I am hoping by the appointment next week that I will have full sensation in both of my legs and he will be blown away.
15. This computer. This little Mac has become by best friend.
16. Amazing blogs - they have kept me entertained, inspired and informed during this healing journey.
17. Good books. A friend gave me "Hector and the Search for Happiness". It is such a cute, inspiring book. I'm about 3/4 of the way through it.
18. Green smoothies - I am convinced that these suckers are accelerating my healing process.
19. A blog post I read about how a plant-based diet reduces inflammation in the body, thereby allowing healing to happen faster.
20. Eat to Live by Joel Furhmann - so much knowledge in one book.
21. I love my plant-based diet. I love my salads, soups, curries, stews and other concoctions that are helping to heal my body and fill it with vitality. I eat this way a good 90-95% of the time.
22. Wine. Enough said.
23. Runner's World magazine - to help me to feel like I am still a real runner.
24. Leah getting a job in Dubai at my school, starting August 2012. This girl is a motivator, an inspirer and a do-er. I am looking forward to having her here!
25. Goals. I love my daily physical and mental goals. I love my vision of running the 1/2 marathon in December and MAYBE even the marathon in January 2013.
26. Mental strength - I am pleased I am able to train my mind to focus on the things that are positive and life giving. I am 100% convinced that this healthy mind will help heal my body.
27. Our new mattress, doona and pillows. So, so comfy!
28. Flowers - love them!
29. My family ... even though they are far away, I know they are still thinking of me.
30. My gorgeous nieces and nephews. 4 cuter people never walked the earth! I love their energy, sense of fun and JOY! Talking with them makes me HAPPY!!
31. The Australian Open - keeping me company while I am house-bound.
32. Music - It lifts my mood and lifts my soul!
33. Cooking - I am enjoying doing a little more cooking. I always kinda dread it, but once we start slicing and dicing, I love it! I especially love eating the finished product.
34. The pool at the gym. I love that I can walk there and back. I love getting out of the house. I love that it is a big pool (with kickboards) so I can float, do my traction and do my pool walking.
35. My exercises I do at home - they help make me strong and they are a great way to relieve pain.
36. My life - I have been so blessed. I am so thankful for all of my 36 years. Each and every experience has helped me to grow and learn. Here's to many, many more years of good times.

Have a dream, make a plan, go for it

Today's physical goal: A fun-filled 30 minutes of pool traction, interspersed with 10 mins of pool walking. All good. Finished up with 20 mins of poolside lounging. The physio told me I have to do that too. He he...sure!

Today's mental goal: "Have a dream; make a plan; go for it", Zoe Koplowitz - MS sufferer who finished the NYC marathon on crutches in 24 hours. Now that is some serious mental strength right there. Well, I got my dream. I got my plan. Now I am going for it.

I'm feeling pretty good but a little tender and tight. Overall, I am very happy my with progress - being able to walk back and forth to the gym is awesome!!!

One step at a time

Today's physical goal: Walk to gym and back and do my traction. Check. It was a slow old walk today - my legs seem a little more numb than yesterday??? Nonetheless, I did it :)

Today's mental goal: "I am made of belief. Not barriers". (Simon Wheatcroft, blind runner). I need to call back to my mind my vision of running the half marathon this December. Over the weekend, I lost sight of this. Today I am once again living a life of belief. Belief that I am strong and healed. Belief that I can do anything. Belief that I am living the life of my dreams.

In other news, I had a grand 'ole time over at the pool today. I floated for 40 mins or so (which is very theraputic in itself). I then took the liberty of hanging on the sun lounge for 20 mins. I mean, hey, I may as well have a little fun right? The glorious sun was shining. The sky was a resplendent blue. If someone handed me a Pina Colada, I may well have been able to believe I was in The Maldives. Or Hawaii. I'm not fussy.